The Counselor’s Couch, Part 3: Pregnancy Centers of Central Virginia

A continuation from Part 2: Vera tells ALL

The goal of PCCV is straightforward: “reduce the abortion rate in the Central Virginia Piedmont area.” PCCV has a resounding Mission Statement that speaks both of their high standards in Christian ministry as well as their uncompromising care for women, men and children in Central Virginia.

The Pregnancy Centers of Central Virginia is a life-affirming Christian ministry committed to:

• HOPE for women, men and their families facing issues of unintended pregnancy;
• HELP through free and confidential counseling, education, medical services and adoption referrals;
• HEALTH by empowering individuals to make self-controlled, healthy lifestyle choices;
• HEALING through physical, emotional and spiritual support.

From these simple words - Hope, Help, Health and Healing - the counselors, staff and volunteers of PCCV are driven to serve their community with a steadfast love of neighbor. A clear and unwavering love of Christ fires their passion for life.

The differences between PCCV and abortion clinics are clear. PCCV knows the definition of “crisis pregnancy” and they are there for you. They know that while every crisis seems like a threat to our sense of well-being, God’s love and our strength as humans will pull us through any crisis and give us an opportunity to grow and learn about ourselves.

Unlike an abortion clinic, you are not demeaned to a number or patient file. You are an empowered individual, cared for lovingly by your pregnancy counselor every step of the way. When you feel like you might fall, your counselor is there to catch you. PCCV clients find friends and confidants in their counselors. Best of all, services are free and confidential.

Trained pregnancy counselors are in four convenient locations throughout Central Virginia - Downtown Charlottesville, Albemarle, Orange and Culpeper. PCCV puts their counselors through rigorous certification training, on-the-job and in-services trainings, and regular evaluations. You can be sure that your pregnancy counselor is top-notch.

Each center offers free, confidential pregnancy testing with immediate and reliable results. You have time to talk with your counselor about your results and receive upfront, factual information on all of your options, including parenting, abortion and adoption. Clients may request information about free limited medical services; free baby and maternity supplies; and referral information to social services, legal services or medical care. PCCV does not give referrals to abortion services or providers. A post abortion Bible study and support group is also offered several times a year. Women who attend say they feel “forgiven and set free.”

A trained volunteer is always available on their 24-hour helpline to take your call (434-220-3777 or 1-800-395-HELP (4357) toll-free), or visit www.VirginiaPregnancy.org. PCCV is committed to helping women, men and children, without false advertising or deception.

The Counselor’s Couch, Part 2: Vera tells ALL

A continuation from Part 1: Real Answers. Real Help.

I knew I always wanted a baby, but with my baby I also wanted a husband and family; my opinion of “normal.” I know being a single mom is possible, especially this day and age, but I didn’t think it was a possibility for me.

I was afraid to be pregnant because I was convinced that I could not make it work financially. My family was far away and Chloe’s father wanted nothing to do with us. Ending the pregnancy would have been easiest; nothing in my life would have to change. But even as these thoughts passed through my head, I think a larger part of me knew that Chloe was meant to be.

I confided in a friend at work. She helped me clarify my thoughts and realize I really wanted to keep Chloe, but I was still scared. Eventually I found PCCV. [Vera was referred to PCCV by a local abortion clinic.] I stopped by one day looking for programs that might assist me financially in keeping Chloe.

What I found was so much more. I found peace of mind. I found a great friend who drove three hours to come to Chloe’s baby shower. I found someone I could call and ask the silliest questions. My notebook is filled with “called Nicole about…”

The physical support - baby gifts, layette and especially the crib - were all very important, but having Nicole there for emotional support made all the difference in the world. Even my parents are so thrilled that I found PCCV and had your support. I felt in control and strong and, more importantly, not alone.

I was never pressured by PCCV. I had already made up my mind, but was afraid of the decision. Nicole just listened to me. She let me talk and by the time we were done there was Chloe. I would say, “She is a dream come true, but…”; PCCV helped remove the “buts” and let me enjoy the rest. I started thinking that I could do it and I did. I made the perfect little room fit for a princess with just their crib and a coat of paint. I even used the bedspread from my childhood room. PCCV was there for me whenever I needed them. It meant so much to me.

If I had to give advice to others in my situation? Get over the fact that you need to ask for help! The hardest thing in my life was to ask for help. Yes, you are great, beautiful, talented and successful, but sometimes even the best of us need help. I know it is hard to ask, believe me. I wasn’t going to. I thought I was too good for it. I mean, I went to college, I have a graduate degree. Why would I need help, right? But I did! My pregnancy, my life and Chloe’s life, wouldn’t be so peaceful if I had not asked for help.

Please read Part 3: The Pregnancy Centers of Central Virginia for the continuation.

Recently I was asked to write an article about my experience as a Pregnancy Counselor for Celebrate Life, a publication of American Life League. A daunting task to say the least, I hoped this would afford me an opportunity to tell the real story of what goes on in Crisis Pregnancy Centers.

Often I hear and read the liberal propaganda spewing lies about CPCs, what we do, who we serve and how we accomplish our mission. I have even heard twisted tales about what a CPC’s mission is. Naturally when I started writing I wanted to correct as many fallacies as possible. To this end, and my absolute joy, one of my former clients enthusiastically agreed to a “no-holds-barred” interview about her experience with our center and me, her counselor.

The final printed article, I am pleased to say, can be found in the September/October 2008 issue of Celebrate Life. However, I have also split the article into three shorter pieces for your enjoyment here. I hope you all enjoy the stunning truth my client revealed about CPCs!

The Counselor’s Couch, Part 1: Real Answers. Real Help.

Crisis pregnancy - for those who have never experienced one, you cannot begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions flooding your senses. You feel light headed, even giddy, but then you are flying out of control, tossed upside-down and desperately praying for someone to flip the off switch.

The best way to explain the rush of mixed feelings is like a freefall, total gravity. To see the breathlessness when clients walk through the door; the raw, unreserved emotion as they slowly unfold their story and the utter relief when a woman finds sanctuary and truth in a Pregnancy Center; it is both a heavenly joy and a heavy cross to bear as a pregnancy counselor.

Every time the door chimes or the phone rings I know it is a Divine appointment filled with opportunity. Looking up from the front desk as Vera walked into the Albemarle center was no different. I knew there was going to be a connection between us.

As a pregnancy counselor you learn very quickly to read people. Every client is an individual, unique. In training you learn counselors have only seven seconds to welcome a client and assess her personality. In Vera’s seven seconds I saw that she was a very action oriented person with a bright smile and a no-nonsense attitude. She came prepared with a list of questions; all she needed was a close friend and comfy couch.

Please read Part 2: Vera Tells ALL for the continuation.

1973 saw the advent of a terrible tragedy in America - Roe vs. Wade. The Supreme Court promised women safe and legal abortions on demand. Many women have asked themselves, “At what cost did abortion on demand come at?”

In 1978 two women asked a more important question, “Did we really obtain safe and legal abortions?” Pam Zekman and Pamela Warrick of the Chicago Sun-Times - working with Better Government Association - printed the expose “The Abortion Profiteers”.

While researching this stunning and terrifying piece, Zekman and Warrick put undercover workers in six Michigan Avenue clinics. Their research uncovered horrifying abortion cases that proved women are not any safer post Roe.

The question 35 years later is: are we any safer? Life Dynamics has made a strong, uncensored and unbiased case proving that doctors and abortion mills are still not any safer. Mark Crutcher and his team have collected mountains of evidence from public records and other documents proving sexual assault, mutilation, and even murder of perfectly healthy women inside legal abortion clinics! Crutcher’s expose also includes medical evidence of the connection between abortion and breast cancer.

Understand that this book is not for the faint of heart. It is, however, a necessary piece for your pro-life library. Lime 5 is on sale from Life Dynamics.

Many of my readers have noticed my recent tiff online. Thankfully I have left that battle where it stands, although my counterpart tells me that I am to expect a “slam” of an article on Monday. Oh well!

However, as a follow up to my own thoughts on the subject, I recently received a delightful and honest question. I believe it should be shared with you all because the answer is terribly important in light of recent events: “Where do you look when you are examining questions of ethics in writing?”

Naturally the Internet is a medium in which almost every person on earth can enter out their thoughts without much regard for who they hurt or what rules they break. However, many bloggers are taking up the metaphorical pen and urging all online writers to follow some decorum online.

Personally, I follow the Society of Professional Journalists’ Code of Ethics as my model for writing and journalism. For everything online - questions about blogs, comments, flaming, and more - I defer to the excellent advice of The Original Mud Puppy and Lisa Williams’ weblog.

Armed with these three advisers, it is difficult to err in your quest for a decent, ethical article. I encourage all writers, especially those holding themselves out to be experts on a topic, or even those holding themselves out to be commentators on a given topic, to follow the codes of ethics. Doing so will not only reflect well on them as a writer, but it will also create a sense of decency and politesse around the web.

Many prayer groups today find that their rights to peaceably assemble on public sidewalks and right-of-ways are being dangerously threatened. Not too long ago I too was a prayer leader. Our group exercised our rights to pray on a public sidewalk in a very busy part of town and quite often we were met with confrontations and hostile individuals.

In order to curb these volatile situations I consulted a dear friend, who also happens to be an attorney at the Rutherford Institute. He gave me some excellent pointers:

• Have an emergency contact plan. My group created business cards for all our members with my phone number, our church phone number and a lawyer’s number. The church and lawyer were instructed to call me 24/7 in the event of an emergency.
• Always have a phone, camera or video recorder with you in case of emergency.
• If you are harassed, assaulted or in some other danger, do not be afraid to call the police. On one occasion a man I knew was run off the sidewalk with a Hummer while praying the Rosary. However, we had the emergency plan in place and I was able to take care of the situation immediately.
• Be Prepared! Know your local laws and ordinances about where you can stand and how and what types of literature you can pass out.
• Be kind, but firm with your local police. Know that you have rights and do not be afraid to ask for a badge number or a chance to call your lawyer. However, do be nice to the police. Hostility will not get you on good terms with the officers. There is no need to be a martyr!

Having an emergency plan in place before you go out to pray can save a lot of heartache later on. Once our group learned these simple but effective planning techniques, the confrontations towards us were drastically cut down because we were prepared to handle them.

As a pregnancy counselor and prayer leader outside a Virginia Planned Parenthood, I have learned a lot over the years. Ministering to vulnerable women, men, and their preborn babies is extremely important, but can also be very overwhelming if you are unprepared.

If you do not have formal training as a sidewalk counselor from a reputable program or pregnancy center stop! Please do not go out blind to your local abortion clinic. Ministering without any training will not benefit women or babies. Actually, it could possibly lead to legal trouble if you say or do something inappropriate.

This is definitely not meant to deter anyone from ministering at clinics. In fact, ministering is a wonderful opportunity; one that should be met with zeal and love.

Romans 12 implores us to offer our lives as a “living sacrifice to God.” We are all parts of the one body. In being part of this “one body” we are asked to do simple tasks like getting a woman to a pregnancy center. We do not have to do the whole counseling session right there. Rather, we only have to be a witness, a part, just one small link in the bigger chain.

Here are some simple suggestions to help you get started in ministering:

• Your local Pregnancy Center can train and equip you with the tools you need to guide women toward true help. Many centers have annual or semiannual training sessions for around $25.00 per person. It is well worth the cost to learn how to properly minister to women in need.
• Form a small group and approach your local center with a proposal to trade training time and resources for help in guiding clients to their door.
• Once you are trained, know the local laws regarding abortion clinics.
• Always be polite and prayerful in your approach, never aggressive. A smile and a kind word go a long way!
• Do not yell at the women or abortion workers. No one listens to anger and shouting.
• Remember to work with your local Pregnancy Center - it is about the babies and the moms!

Know that God has prepared tools for you, so do not be scared to reach out to your area churches and CPCs to find them! You are not alone in your mission, so do not try to take the world on your shoulders. Be brave enough to admit when you need help.

A dear friend came to me frustrated about her local pregnancy center. Wanting to help, I offered to take her out for coffee. As we chatted, the truth slowly unfolded that she had recently discovered that the center near her was telling women that contraceptives were “okay.”

Screeching break sounds!

I couldn’t believe my ears. Sad but true, many pregnancy centers are misinformed about birth control and the dangers they pose. Many contraceptives actually cause early abortions. However, there is something you can do!

• Get the name and number of your local pregnancy center and call them to learn about their policies.
• If the pregnancy center near you is not pro-life, schedule an appointment to talk with the center director. Use this appointment as a chance to open up a dialogue and minister to them.
• Listen to the reasons behind their policies before you start sharing information with them.
• If you do need to share the pro-life truth with them, come prepared with specific questions about their ministry. This will allow you to frame your response more to their needs. Also, make sure that the reasons you give them for becoming a 100% pro-life pregnancy resource center are both scientific reasons as well as moral reasons.
• Remain calm when you speak. Remember that you have the truth. Do not get angry or abrasive in your tactics.

Exodus 23:22 says, “If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you” (NIV). For me this has means listen to the opposing arguments so that the Holy Spirit can show me the best way to counter them.

And guess what, it works! If you listen to others, they will listen to you.

Life is so beautiful, so magical. It is hard to believe that it begins with the act of one man and one woman coming together in the ultimate show of love! When the sperm and egg unite to create a new human being something greater than words can express takes place.

Unfortunately we have lost sight of this beautiful act. With the advent of contraceptives, we mercilessly kill our preborn children before they have a chance to even start their long journey in life. But do not take my word for it. See for yourself how contraception manufacturers and scientist have twisted words over the years to fit their own agendas.

Prior to the mid-1960s, medical personnel appear to have had at least some belief in their Hippocratic Oath of “do no harm.” At least scientist and doctors saw “the instant of fertilization” as paramount to the beginning of life. The U.S Department of Health Education and Welfare published the following in their Public Health Service leaflet No. 1066 in 1963:

“All the measures which impair the viability of the zygote at any time between the instant of fertilization and the completing of labor constitute, in the strict sense procedures for inducing abortion.”

Clearly health workers viewed newly created humans, fertilized eggs as they are called today, worthy of our attention and care. However, this did not last long. Just as everything else in the psychedelic 60s broke every fad, manner and rule, so too did doctors break their oath to the most innocent of humans.

In 1965 the American Academy of Obstetrics and Gynecology redefined pregnancy by saying, “Conception is the implantation of a fertilized ovum.” They published this quandary of a statement in their Terminology Bulletin No. 1, “Terms Used in Reference to the Fetus.” ACOG once again “clarified” their warped idea of pregnancy by changing the definition in 1972 to, “Conception is the implantation of the blastocyst.” A truly impersonalizing and dehumanizing definition, this head-scratcher was published in the Obstretric-Gynecologic Terminology handbook, ‘Gametogenesis and Fertilization.’

What is a blastocyst? The most common definition I found was “a hollow ball of cells filled with fluid.” This, however, is just another attempt to completely dehumanize newly created life!

With this new definition of pregnancy, the makers of oral contraceptives were free to create their pills with an eye to not only preventing ovulation and thickening cervical mucus, but also changing the lining of the uterus. The last mechanism - changing the lining of the uterus - makes it difficult, if not impossible, for a preborn child to implant in the womb. When he cannot implant in the womb, he is denied necessary nourishment and is expelled from the body during menstruation.

This is a chemical abortion!

Oral contraceptives recognize this third mechanism in their own full-patient prescribing information. They do not advertise this point openly, but they have gone on record for noting the abortifacient properties of the pill. As quoted in the booklet ‘Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?’ by Randy Alcorn, a representative of the Ortho-McNeil said, “If you end up with a fertilized egg, [the baby boy or girl] won’t implant and grow because of the less hospitable endometrium.”

The makers of oral contraceptives and ACOG have known for decades that life begins at conception. They have even gone out of their way to change the definition of pregnancy just to legitimize their work. If they can see that when life begins, why can’t the rest of society? Why don’t we stand up to the pressures of pharmaceuticals and ACOG and demand that they treat life, all life from creation to natural death, with more dignity and respect?

“Life” is a beautiful Biblical subject. It is unfortunate that we often take life and the Biblical understanding of life for granted. We rarely look at the numerous life quotations in the Bible because I do not think we understand the wide range of emotional evocations.

There is everything from fear to boldness, sorrow to joy, and everything in between.

My favorite life statements include the Commandment “you shall not kill” (Exodus 20:10, cf Deuteronomy 5:17) for its simplicity, but I also have a few that are there because of their beauty and even some because of the Godly fear they instill in me.

• “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5a

• “Children too are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward.” Psalms 127: 3

• “Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him.” Deuteronomy 20:19b-20a

• “Yet you drew me forth from the womb, made me safe at my mother’s breast. Upon you I was thrust from the womb; since birth you are my God.” Psalms 22:10-11

• “Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” Matthew 19:14

• “My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you; when I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth.” Psalms 139:15

• “With skin and flesh you clothed me, with bones and sinews knit me together.” Job 10:11

Whatever emotions motivate you, I encourage you peruse your Bible and find your favorite life statements. A great place to start is to read Genesis, Psalms, Proverbs and the Gospels. These books of the Bible have some wonderful life quotations. They also make for wonderful reads!

Again, do not be afraid to write down, shout out and share your favorite life statements from the Bible with your friends and family!